The foundation of marriage has always been based on the fact that both people are honest, trust and respect each other, and support each other in everything they pursue. The route to this union is had through open communication and expression of feelings. When a marriage is struggling, it is often the result of one or both persons no longer having a desire to nurture these relationship fundamentals. There are multiple causes for why people in marriages give up and no longer want to keep their marriage stable. Sometimes one or both partners can also abandon the relationship altogether.
The National Center for Biotechnology Information advances science and health have examined why marriages develop negative characteristics and have documented specific tensions that arise and cause strain in marriages:
Marital tension includes negative emotions such as feeling tense, resentful and irritated about the marital relationship. These emotions occur as a result of irritations, disappointment, disagreements, and conflict in marriage. It is a broader construct than marital strife, which is defined as overt arguments. Marital tension is also distinct from the particular types of conflict strategies that couples use. For example, one pair may yell and scream at one another during a marital disagreement. In contrast, another may calmly discuss problems, yet both couples could experience high marital tension levels. (NCBI)
When a Marriage Breaks Down
The problems that occur when there is tension within a marriage can benefit from relationship counseling. Ideally, the sooner a couple sees a qualified and experienced relationship counselor, the more likely their marriage will improve. Often couples decide to see a counselor too late. The presence of resentments and anger will escalate as time goes on and heads towards a divorce. Irritations are poison to any person’s intimate relationships. Resentments can eventually cause a lack of honesty and drive evasive communication, leading to low levels of trust and respect, causing more anxiety about the marriage. These elements have the potential to dismantle the basic principles of why two people remain together.
A relationship counselor is trained to help couples see a way through the damaging effects of resentment and lack of honesty or respect. The partnership that two people form when they get married fortunately can help pave the way for a counselor to help them mend their marriage. A professional counselor will invite and encourage communication during the counseling session. Many couples forget how vital communication is for their relationship. Discussing how you feel to your loved one is how close relationships are formed in the first place.
Can Marriage Counseling Solve a Crisis?
A marriage counselor will typically rely on the following formats and insights during a marriage counseling session:
- Discussion of the positive components of the marriage
- Discussion of the negative parts of the marriage
- Open communication about each person’s feelings
- Strategies on how to discuss differences rationally
- Identifying problems without blaming the other person
A marriage counselor will also address whether one or both display an evasive or disinterested communication style and will be shown how to express their feelings with their partner effectively. In most people’s stories of successful relationship counseling, the last thing on their mind when they entered the counselor’s office was how they must wholeheartedly connect with those they love. Communication between close people always means to be self-revealing, in other words, to share emotions.
The union’s mutual support that occurs when a couple decides to seek professional help to remain together is precious. Repairing a marriage can be extremely difficult. The good news is that millions of couples have healed their differences with their partner through professional relationship counseling. The solution to healing a relationship or marriage that has endured challenges is to start counseling with a qualified marriage counselor as soon as possible.
Contact a Licensed Clinical Social Worker
At the Counseling Center for Growth and Recovery, we employ licensed clinical social workers in the role of psychotherapists that specialize in treating anxiety disorders, depression, addictions, trauma, along with marriage counseling. We have over 25 years of experience in allowing men, women, and families to recreate their lives under our careful guidance, care, and support.