Guest Contribution by Leah Fortner
Today, I want to take a moment and honor a personal achievement I am very proud of. This day marks 85 days without drinking alcohol. (And no, I’m not in AA. And no, I don’t even call it “sobriety”.) But, what I did do was realize that my relationship with alcohol was not a healthy one. .
I was not an alcoholic. I didn’t drink during the week unless I went out. I didn’t even keep alcohol in my home. But, if I did drink, I drank hard. And my family and my bloodline have always suffered from addiction and alcoholism.
Eventually, the social act of drinking became an escape mechanism. And truthfully, that’s why addiction and alcohol are so prominent in our society because we all want out of that logical, controlling, intense consciousness steering the ship.
My energy and my life force were affected overall in negative ways. I started feeling this heavy energy of remorse or regret in my gut, as I would battle through a hangover or spend a couple days trying to “bounce back” and get my routine feeling “normal”. I knew on some level that the use and abuse of alcohol were no longer serving me or my highest good.
Regardless, it was easy to shrug it off for quite some time. “I work hard. I need to release some steam. I deserve fun. I only do it a night or two a week”. And so the rationalization supports the habit.
Yet, I always recalled a part of the movie “The Peaceful Warrior”, where his mentor says, “if it has become a habit rather than a conscious decision, then it must be released and healed.” My habitual thoughts and cravings were, “Oh, it’s Happy Hour, it’s the weekend; time for a drink.” I watched it for a while. I watched my cravings. I knew I had lost my power, I had honestly known it for years.
I had done 30-day “detoxes”, but the cravings persisted through the time lapses and I returned to my ways on day 31. So, my life and soulful truth called for more, a complete sacrifice of the relationship. It took a huge “life-storm” experience to kick me into it, but in divine time I gave it up. I chose self-love. I broke the genetic and societal patterns and I have never felt more balanced, grounded, clear-minded, or confident in who I am.
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